What I Hate: G - I

Hate is a strong word. I mean, do I hate Gary Busey or am I just wildly disturbed by him? It's a fine line I'm walking here.

Here's the next installment:

G - Great Expectations. I've tried to read this book, by Charles Dickens, three different times in my life. The first was in high school. I admit I probably didn't give it much of an effort but, still, it made no sense what-so-ever. I wasn't even all that certain they were speaking English. I gave up  after a few chapters and then paid just enough attention to the class lectures to squeak out my usual "C." A few years later I tried reading it again because I didn't want to admit failure. I abandoned it after less than a hundred pages. The last time I tried was in my early thirties. I somehow convinced myself that another ten years of life experience would help me enjoy this book. I couldn't have been more wrong. It was still awful and made me feel like a bad reader. Anyone who says they love this book is lying or trying to appear smarter than they really are. I, on the other hand, vow to never try reading it again.

Others: guilt, guns, grapefruit, grenades, Gatlinburg, TN,  Gucci (and all it represents)


H- Hard Liquor. Why does anyone ever drink this stuff? It essentially tastes like fingernail polish smells.If, to consume it, you have to shoot it down your throat as fast as humanly possible and then squeeze your face up tighter than a bull's ass on fight night then it's just not worth it. But at least it's cheap, right?

Others: haircuts, hearses, hockey, hospitals, hot air balloon rides, horseradish, hoola-hoops (only because every one I ever tried didn't work right), and humidity


I - IRS. This might seem too obvious but I have a particular beef with the IRS. It is now early December and we still have not received our sizeable tax refund from last April. Every few months we get a letter saying "We apologize but we are still reviewing your file. You will hear back from us on (insert random date) with our findings." Only guess what? We don't hear back from them until about three weeks after that date and the only thing we receive, even then, is yet another letter saying they haven't had enough time to look over our return. And because they have a sick sense of humor that even I cannot appreciate, yesterday they sent us a bulky envelope (never a good sign) that said they're charging us a 20% interest penalty for the fact that our tax situation was not resolved by April 15th. Yes, 20% in penalties for money they actually OWE US. I enjoyed an hour long discussion with them on the phone last night. The guy on the other end actually started laughing at one point, stopped, and said "I'm sorry, this probably isn't a laughing matter." At this point maybe that's all you can do. This week we will send in yet more adoption documents to them and wait another three months.

Others: identity theft, idiots (as well as ignoramuses and imbeciles), and igloos (I'm really supposed to believe those things keep you warm?),