What I Hate: D - F

So I learned from last week's post that Dan Akroyd has a few fans left. I can only guess they're easily amused  by the likes of Christmas with the Kranks, Earth vs the Spider, and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Even in his heyday he was making gems like The Great Outdoors,  My Stepmother is an Alien, and Trading Places (which was good despite him). If you ever see that Dan Akroyd is a new movie you can pretty much guess he's going to play a pompous jerk. Again.

This week I'm going to tackle the letters D - F. I'll steer clear of old SNL favorites (although I now regret not putting Jane Curtain in with the C's because I don't think she's funny either).

D - DENTAL HYGIENISTS.  It's not the dentist I dislike as much as the hygienist. From the bitewing x-ray to the scraping, it's really off-putting. Worse yet, the hygienist feels the need to make small talk while your mouth is full of latex fingers and a spit tube. I don't know how much they make to stare into people's mouths all day but it can't possibly be enough.

Others: dampness, diarrhea, diamonds, dust, Def Leppard, discount cards, and Dr. Who


E -ENGLISH MOVIES WITHOUT SUBTITLES. How is it they speak English in England yet I can't understand half of what they say? A number of years back Tricia and I rented the Robert Altman movie Gosford Park and had to turn it off after about fifteen minutes because we had no clue what anyone was saying.

Others: evangelicalism, Elvis Costello, eels, electric razors, emus, and the tailcoat-riding E-Street Band


F -FACEBOOK. "You can find me on Facebook." This is what I find myself hearing more and more. From the Farms to Schools program I found in an exhibit hall at the SC State Fair to the guy selling homemade cutting boards at the All :Local Farmer's Market on Whaley Street, more and more people are using Facebook as a means to communicate and even do business. I frown when I hear this. I don't have a Facebook account. A few years ago I tried it for a month or so but I kept getting friend requests and messages from people I don't remember being friends with in high school. The only thing I liked about Facebook was the silly quizzes you could take. That is, until I took one to find out which character I would be on the TV show Lost. I really wanted to be the smart-mouthed Sawyer but was told, instead, I was most like Hurley, the vanilla sidekick. Screw Facebook!

Others: funeral homes, false praise, flu, false teeth floating in a cup, ferris wheels, fist fighting, flies, frigid temperatures, fringe, Ferris Bueller's sister, and Friday the 13th Part VIII