I'M DONE!!!

“What does it mean to be a winner at learning? Winners are judged by some external criteria set by anyone other than the learner. If you answer more of someone else’s questions, score higher on someone else’s test, or complete more of someone else’s assignments according to their specifications, then you will be considered a learning winner over your peers. Under these circumstances, the goal of such schooling is to do more of someone else’s bidding. This separates learners from their learning because they control neither its content nor its consequences. In classrooms that feature learning competitions, learning is about winning – about gains, prestige, and satisfaction. It has more to do with ego involvement than with performance, coming to know yourself, your own and other cultures, and the workings of the world” 

I love this excerpt from Patrick Shannon's book Text, Lies, and Videotape. It was one of many I've read (or at least browsed) over the past month in preparation for a theory paper I was writing for one of my classes.  This paper took far longer than I expected .

However,  I'm proud to say that after holing up in the library on Wednesday I was able to finally finish the paper, as well as a research proposal and accompanying Power Point presentation. By the time I entered that final reference and hit "save" I was almost in disbelief that I could actually be done with everything. It's been a long, but rewarding, haul.

After attending my final classes on Monday and Tuesday I'll have five weeks off before classes start up again. As overwhelmed as I get at times trying to keep up with my coursework I have to say that I do enjoy it. I like having lots to do. When I don't I feel kind of lost, not knowing exactly what I should be doing. I imagine I'll probably play more guitar, clear out some fallen trees and limbs around the house, and go for bike rides with the kids. It's not such a bad job trying to find ways to spend downtime!

While I won't share my paper on critical literacy I will pass along three or four of my favorite quotes (as pulled from the writing of some seriously smart people). 

 *****

"If the mass media are showing kids how to resolve their conflicts through violence or unfettered consumerism, we have to encourage them to reflect. We have a responsibility to help them question their ideas and values, to figure out where these ideas come from and whose interests they serve."


“What knowledge is most worthy? and its corollary, What should we teach our children? are deceptively simple questions….In recent years, the question of what knowledge is most worthy has emerged as part of the contemporary debate on education and schooling. It is related to the larger questions of who and what is an American? Contemporary conservative critics…believe they have the answer. America is what its most successful and powerful people have been- their literature, history, personal stories, and traditions” 

“Education is suffering from narration sickness. The teacher talks about reality as if it were motionless, static, compartmentalized, and predictable…His task is to ‘fill’ the students with the contents of his narration – contents which are detached from reality, disconnected from the totality that engendered them and could give them significance. Words are emptied of their concreteness and become a hollow, alienated, and alienating verbosity”

What I Hate: D - F

So I learned from last week's post that Dan Akroyd has a few fans left. I can only guess they're easily amused  by the likes of Christmas with the Kranks, Earth vs the Spider, and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Even in his heyday he was making gems like The Great Outdoors,  My Stepmother is an Alien, and Trading Places (which was good despite him). If you ever see that Dan Akroyd is a new movie you can pretty much guess he's going to play a pompous jerk. Again.

This week I'm going to tackle the letters D - F. I'll steer clear of old SNL favorites (although I now regret not putting Jane Curtain in with the C's because I don't think she's funny either).

D - DENTAL HYGIENISTS.  It's not the dentist I dislike as much as the hygienist. From the bitewing x-ray to the scraping, it's really off-putting. Worse yet, the hygienist feels the need to make small talk while your mouth is full of latex fingers and a spit tube. I don't know how much they make to stare into people's mouths all day but it can't possibly be enough.

Others: dampness, diarrhea, diamonds, dust, Def Leppard, discount cards, and Dr. Who


E -ENGLISH MOVIES WITHOUT SUBTITLES. How is it they speak English in England yet I can't understand half of what they say? A number of years back Tricia and I rented the Robert Altman movie Gosford Park and had to turn it off after about fifteen minutes because we had no clue what anyone was saying.

Others: evangelicalism, Elvis Costello, eels, electric razors, emus, and the tailcoat-riding E-Street Band


F -FACEBOOK. "You can find me on Facebook." This is what I find myself hearing more and more. From the Farms to Schools program I found in an exhibit hall at the SC State Fair to the guy selling homemade cutting boards at the All :Local Farmer's Market on Whaley Street, more and more people are using Facebook as a means to communicate and even do business. I frown when I hear this. I don't have a Facebook account. A few years ago I tried it for a month or so but I kept getting friend requests and messages from people I don't remember being friends with in high school. The only thing I liked about Facebook was the silly quizzes you could take. That is, until I took one to find out which character I would be on the TV show Lost. I really wanted to be the smart-mouthed Sawyer but was told, instead, I was most like Hurley, the vanilla sidekick. Screw Facebook!

Others: funeral homes, false praise, flu, false teeth floating in a cup, ferris wheels, fist fighting, flies, frigid temperatures, fringe, Ferris Bueller's sister, and Friday the 13th Part VIII

What I Hate from A to Z

New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast recently published a book detailing the things in life she hates, or at the very least make her uncomfortable. Hearing this I thought...Gee, I could do that. I hate things too! Not a whole lot of things. But surely at least one thing for every letter of the alphabet. Right? Well, I thought I might find out. So here goes my list...


A - ABBA. This one almost seems too easy. Bjorn Ulvaeus, before forming ABBA, played in a group called the Hootenanny Singers. Benny Andersson played keyboards in a band called the Hep Stars. During a time when the US music scene was exploring sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll Sweden was falling in love with groups called the Hootenanny Singers and the Hep Stars. What a bunch of squares! I'm tempted to put Sweden on my list.

Other contenders: abacuses, abstract art, accordions, airports, allergies, alpacas, ammunition, armpits, and the entire American Pie movie franchise.


B - BALLET. I once worked in a district where every third grade classroom had to attend a performance of The Nutcracker as performed by a local ballet company. It was terrible. It was slow, made no sense, and really long. The kid next to me fell asleep less than half way through. I was tempted to do the same but felt that, as the teacher, it would be inappropriate.

Other contenders: baboons, barbed wire, barking, Bassett Hounds, baths, billboards, baby blue, and the Boston Red Sox.


C - CANADA. First, it's really cold in Canada. I once heard a comedian complain about all the Canadians who visit California and say "I really love it here but I could never stay because I love the seasons too much." His response? "Yeah, I love the seasons too. That's why I live somewhere that skips all the shitty ones!" More reasons to hate Canada? Dan Aykroyd, Justin Bieber, Tom Greene, Corey Haim, Norm MacDonald, Alan Thicke, and William Shatner.

Other contenders: Conway Twitty,cancer, croutons, camels, cellulite, Chevelles, camouflage, cannibalism, and Celtic dance.


...to be continued.

Driveway Moments

NPR introduces you to all kinds of stories, books, people, movies, and musicians you'd probably never hear about otherwise. I don't really listen all that often anymore. It's too risky when the kids are in the van because every once in a while they'll drop a story in there that isn't really fit for young ears. And when driving alone, a true rarity, I find that, more than not, I prefer the sound of silence. Between teaching and home there aren't all that many quiet moments to be found. My drive to and from USC on Monday and Tuesday nights are pretty much it. These two drives account for the two hours each week when I don't have to solve a problem, move children from one place to the next, answer a question, or correct a behavior. It's not that I mind any of these things - I don't - but it is refreshing to enjoy a moment of absolute silence and not worry about whether or not I should be making plans, reading assigned texts, writing newsletters, researching articles, writing papers, or assessing student work.

That's not to say I never turn on the radio anymore. In fact, while I avoid auditory stimulus on the way to class I actually look forward to it on the way home. That's because I know when I get into the car around 7:20 Terry Gross will be on. Fresh Air is my favorite of all the NPR programs. Terry Gross is far from being a great interviewer - in fact, she can be quite awkward at times. Still, she brings in people I rarely, if ever, hear about anywhere else and I somehow find myself becoming completely engrossed in their story.

This past week she interviewed Tom Waits about his new CD, Bad as Me. I'm no Tom Waits fan. I can't even begin to imagine how others can stomach his gravelly voice. As I got into the car Terry was introducing a track in which Waits uses a falsetto voice. I'm not sure if this was better or worse than his natural  growling. Yet I still listened the whole way home.

The week before, I listened to an interview with Tom Irwin who found a diary written in 1893 hidden away in his Pleasant Plains, Illinois farmhouse and set the words he found inside it to music. He created an entire album of these songs (hear it here). It was an odd story but, again, I didn't want it to end. It was fascinating.

About a month ago I learned of chef Grant Achatz who charges diners at his Chicago restaurant, Alinea, more than $200 to enjoy an ambitious 23-course meal. Achatz is one of the "leading members of the molecular gastronomy movement, which uses unexpected flavor combinations and exotic laboratory tools to create foods based on the molecular compatibility of ingredients." He has a machine that can capture the aroma of an item. He places this gas into a bag, pricks tiny holes in it, slides it into a pillowcase, and puts it under the plate just before it is sent out into the dining room. The weight of the plate pushes down onto the bag, slowly forcing out the aromatic gas. It's the combination of this aroma (say, leather or grass) and the food that helps to elicit memories and feelings in the diner never before imagined in a dining experience. The hook on this piece was the fact that Chef Achatz has lost his ability to taste after being diagnosed with stage four tongue cancer. How ironic.

These are the types of stories that make you sit in the car for an extra minute or two after you pull into the garage. They're far more interesting than an interview with Russel Crowe, Barack O'bama, or Paul McCartney. They're even worth giving up those coveted moments of silence.