Dad and the Girls

I remember when Tricia first became pregnant more than ten years ago everyone assumed I was hoping for a boy. "It doesn't really matter," I'd say. "I'll be happy with either."

I can't say exactly why people would assume this. Is there a general belief that dad's want boys and mom's want girls? If anything, I was probably a bit relieved when I found out we were starting with a girl. I felt I knew what to expect from little boys but a little girl would be something altogether new.

A few years later, while also looking into domestic adoption, Tricia became pregnant again. The question now turned into a statement, "I bet you're hoping for a boy," they'd say. "Otherwise you're going to be surrounded by a house full of women!" Again, I didn't really care. When Ainsley came along I was as thrilled to have two daughters as I would have been to have one of each.

Eight years later, we've since found symmetry - two boys, two girls. It'd be easy to say that parenting boys is different than parenting girls but the fact of the matter is that it's different parenting Harper than it is Ainsley and likewise with both Ty and Muluken. They are all very different, regardless of gender.

One thing that I do notice with the girls is that it's a bit trickier to spend time with them. The boys and I have baseball and backpacking. The girls and I have...well, I 'm not sure. We play games, read books, and wrestle around but I do these same things with the boys as well. I wonder if maybe we shouldn't have something special that's all our own?

A few weeks ago I planned a special day out with the girls. I packed our bikes into the van and told them we were going to head down to the trail that runs along the Congaree River for a bike ride.

"Are there going to be a lot of hills?" Ainsley asked.

"I was going to play at Madeline's," Harper said. "Could you pick me up from there later?" When I did pick her up she didn't necessarily look too happy to be leaving.

Thirty minutes into our ride we already had a bloodied knee, a scraped hand, and a blown out back tire. No one looked to be having any fun at all - with the exception of me as I tried my best to convince them both how much fun this was. We ended the day by taking off our shoes and socks and wading out into the river to rock hop. Being something we do as a family quite often, they giggled as they splashed their way out into the water. While I'm not sure this was enough to make the day all that special, we did at least make it back home without the glum faces.

A few weeks ago I came home to find a big banner the kids had made for my birthday taped to the dining room window. There among the declarations of "I Love You" Harper had written "I Love Backpacking - as long as it's not 80 miles!" I suddenly remembered that I had promised the girls we would go on a backpacking trip together over the summer. I scrambled to put it together.

Backpacking with kids who are not necessarily big fans of heavy packs or doing their business behind a tree is a challenge. It needs to be short. There needs to be water to play in. And the pace needs to be s-l-o-w with plenty of breaks and snacks. I decided to take them to Virginia's Grayson Highlands State Park. We had visited the park for a day trip last summer. GHSP is well-known for the wild ponies that roam the mountains grazing on grass and any other items a nearby hiker may offer. The girls love horses so it seemed like the perfect fit.

We hiked four miles each day and although our only water source turned out to be a dud and I badly sprained an ankle, we had a great time.

Harper measuring out our food for the trip.

The trail was often quite rocky.

This short stretch was nice, soft grass.

There were many rock outcroppings to climb along the way.

A happy hiker.

These were the first of about twenty feral horses we saw.

Ainsley found some flowers for she and I to place in our hair.

Harper logs us in as we head out of the state park and into the National Forest.

A "cave" - the boys will be SO jealous!

Ainsley follows the blazes.

Rocks really kill your feet - and your ankles.

Our destination - Thomas Knob Shelter - was a disappointment. No good water.

We boiled the gross water and backtracked to a nice grassy spot to make camp.

A pretty nice view from the site. Sure beats a crowded campground.

At 60 degrees, the girls were COLD.

Bedtime atop the mountain.

Proof that Harper can, in fact, wake up with a smile on her face!

There were many gates to pass through along the way.

See the white blaze at the top of the wall? Up we climbed.

This was the other side of the that same rock wall.

Excited to be finished. The girls were ready for some indoor plumbing!