The Bucket List

This afternoon, while eating lunch, I did something I rarely do - read the Parade magazine that comes in the Sunday paper. There's rarely anything in there that I'm all that interested in. Today, however, there was a photo of Jimmy Fallon, dressed like Elvis, driving a motorcycle with a large bear seated behind him. I was kind of curious.

After flipping through the pages to find the article I saw that it was all about his "bucket list" - the things he wants to experience or accomplish in his lifetime. I don't know if the term bucket list is a new one but I don't remember having heard it prior to a few years ago. It seemed, at the time, as though this phrase was being used everywhere. As is generally the case, because creating a bucket list became so popular I decided to avoid it at all costs. This is really a juvenile way to act but I doubt at this point there's much chance that I'll change.

So for whatever reason I sat there and read, while picking at leftover chili and some fruit, Jimmy Fallon's list of hopes and dreams. Well, I read a few (It'd be fun to do Wii bowling with the Queen of England), became bored, and let my eyes wander to other things. At the side of the page I saw that the author of the article had created a list of items he thought everyone should have on their bucket list. I was surprised to see that the first few I noticed were ones I had already completed. Feeling like a success I decided to read on. It actually wound up being pretty interesting. Here's the list (with a few reactions mixed in for good measure)...


1. Eat real barbecue, like at Shealy's Bar-B-Que in Batesburg-Leesville, SC, famous for its fried pulley bone-the part of the chicken around the wishbone. Or go to one of America's BBQ meccas, like Memphis, Austin, or Kansas City, and dine your way from joint to joint.

We've had BBQ in Memphis. I don't recall it being that memorable though. Perhaps we just didn't hit the right places. We spent most our time on Beale Street where the blues pours out  from nearly every door. Strangely enough, Memphis is where I learned how much I love tamales. Go figure.


2. Watch a lawnmower race. Find one by consulting the website of the United States Lawn Mower Racing Association (letsmow.com), the country's oldest and largest sanctioning body for lawn mower racing. Its motto: "We turn a weekend chore into a competitive sport."

Sadly, this really sounds like something I might enjoy. It reminds me a bit of the movie "The Straight Story" about an old man who rides his lawn mower across the country to make peace with his estranged brother. I thought this sounded like a really sweet idea for a movie but never saw it because Tricia feared it would be too depressing.


3. Visit a farm. Meeting the men and women who grow your food can be fascinating and fun. To locate a nearby farm, visit localharvest.org.

Coincidentally Tricia mentioned that she saw something in the paper last weekend about visiting local farms and thought we should to do this.


4. Participate in a tradition that's so odd, it has to be American, like the Mermaid Parade, held in New York City's Coney Island (June 18), or the sidewalk egg-frying competition in Oatman, Arizona (July 4).

Does the Polar Bear Plunge count? I've thought about doing that one. They have it each January here in Lake Carolina. Being that it's usually in the mid to upper 40's when everyone takes the leap I wonder how much street cred this actually gives you.


5. Stand at the base of a really tall tree, like one of Northern California's redwoods or giant sequoias. Gaze up at its branches. Be amazed.

Of all the items on the list this is the one I'd most like to do.


6. Own a pair of cowboy boots.

Of all the items on the list this is the one I'd least like to do.


7. Attend a religious service of a faith different from your own.

When I was much younger I attended Sunday church service with a neighborhood friend. I won't mention the faith but they didn't own a TV and never wore shorts no matter how hot it was outside. Their church had a full band on stage, or I guess they probably called it the pulpit, and the drummer was doing all he could do to snap his sticks on the drumheads. The men in the congregation slipped off their shoes and started wandering around the sanctuary mumbling until a number of them fell to the floor and started to convulse. The women dropped to their knees and placed their heads on the seats of the pews - alongside the children. Thinking they were taking cover I did the same. After what felt like an eternity we finally went home. Needless to say I never went back.


8. Invite someone new to Thanksgiving. Your guest could be a neighbor, a coworker, a foreign visitor - anyone who's not having a celebration of his own.

A couple of years ago we invited the Spanish teacher from my school to Thanksgiving dinner. He was from Columbia, had no family here, and had never celebrated Thanksgiving. At the time we also had an exchange student from Saudi Arabia. So counting Ty there were four different countries represented at our Thanksgiving table. That was pretty cool.


9. Read the constitution. Considering how much time we spend arguing about it, why not bone up on what it actually says?

This wouldn't be a bad idea given that I barely passed the Constitution test before graduating high school. Still, I think I'd rather watch paint dry. Or grass grow. Watch coal turn to diamonds. Any others?


10. Volunteer to be a poll worker on Election Day (Nov. 8 this year).

After the 2000 election where a number of eligible voters were reported to have been turned away (in an election that was excruciatingly close) I decided to become an election judge. There was a new job at the polls created to help anyone turned away. Feeling this was an opportunity to help the system work the way it should I volunteered for this post. For thirteen hours I sat at my own little table off to the side and took care of those who had stood in long lines only to be turned away. A good title for this job would have been "Guy who gets yelled at." It seems standing in a twenty minute line to be told you aren't allowed to vote really fires most people up. Some of them were simply in the wrong place. Others had moved and failed to update their information or register in a new precinct. My favorites, though, were the ones who hadn't voted for years (or decades) and thought all they had to do was show up on election day. A common excuse was "I though I was automatically registered to vote when I got my drivers' license!" While that would have made all the sense in the world it was definitely not the case. It's amazing how completely numb you can become to people griping and yelling at you. 

 
11. Enjoy a minor league baseball game. For teams and schedules, go to minorleaguebaseball.com.

We go to one or two college games each year. I think this is even better.


12. March in a parade. You don't have to pull a Ferris Bueller and commandeer a float - tagging along will do - but big smiles and waves are a must.

I hate parades. As Daniel Tosh jokes "All anyone ever does at a parade is rubberneck down the road wondering when this stupid thing is going to end so they can go home and wash the 'lame' off them. You want to make parades more interesting? I say they do one more lap but at ten times the speed. The midgets start flying off the floats because their stubby fingers can't hold on to the railings. Their tiny bodies whip out into the crowd and a little boy catches one and asks if he can keep it. 'I don't know why not,' his mom says. 'They're not real.' What? They're not. They can't even vote. Well, okay...they CAN vote but have no idea who they voted for. And that is the story of how George Bush became president!" Wow, that was  a long joke just to get to George Bush!


13. Take a kid to Disney World.

We took four the summer before last. I fear Disney may have paid to have this one placed on the list. Would you be surprised to find out that was true?


14. Learn the second verse of our national anthem. One little-known fact about "The Star Spangled Banner": It's melody was based on "To Anacreon in Heaven," a popular British tune dedicated to a wine-loving Greek poet.

I don't know this verse but I do know the verses to Take Me Out to the Ballgame. Were you aware that song even had verses? (Katie Casey was baseball mad...Had the fever and had it bad...)


15. Ride the Ferris wheel at a country fair.

By country fair I assume they mean really rural. I've done the state fair and while I haven't been on the Ferris Wheel I did make myself sick trying to eat something called an elephant ear.


16. Seek out the best Fourth of July fireworks within 50 miles of your home.

We used to watch the fireworks in St. Louis and they were among the biggest and best in the country. They were set against the backdrop of the Arch.


17. Get a passport - there's a whole world out there to explore.

I have a passport but there's a glitch in the digital photo that makes it look as though I have a piece of spinach or something in my teeth. For fear of showing this to anyone I will not be leaving the country until it expires in another five years.


18. Send a letter to your US senator or representative. Maybe even be nice.

I haven't sent a letter but I have sent a number of e-mails. The fact that an assistant sends back a form reply or a quick "The senator is very concerned about this issue and thanks you for your input" I don't know that it did all that much. But it's still good to keep trying.


19. Mail a care package to a service member. Learn what to send and where to send it at anysoldier.com, an organization that helps Americans boost the spirits of military personnel.

This one is a really good idea so I won't make any snide remarks. We were lucky enough this past spring to receive regular letters to our classroom from a soldier stationed in Afghanistan. He was there providing medical care for both soldiers and Afghanees. His letters were beautiful and full of so much interesting information about the people and places he encountered.

20. Make your own Halloween costume.

A few years ago I helped Harper make a Lego costume out of a cardboard box, some cottage cheese containers, hot glue, and spray paint. It was by far the best costume any of the kids have ever had because it was simple, clever, and homemade. I've tried each year to convince them to make another but they'd rather be a Power Ranger or something along those commercial lines. Too bad.


21. Tailgate at a football game.

Uh, no.


22. Go on a road trip. Choose a classic route - the Pacific Coast Highway, the Great River Road, the Blue Ridge Parkway, the Great Lakes Circle tour, Maui's Hana Highway - and pack the car.

I've been on great road trips with friends and have driven along the Great River Road and Route 66. However, I've never taken any of these roads as part of a road trip. Sadly, like most Americans I stick to the interstates that get me there the quickest. Tricia and I drove the Road to Hana and it took us a few hours to navigate more than 45 one-lane bridges as we looked down at the ocean below. It was only fun after it was all over because we could say we did it. 


23. Explore America's ancient ruins. The US may be a mere 235 years old, but humans have lived here for millennia. One treasure left behind: the cliff dwellings at Mesa Verde in Colorado, carved out by the Ancestral Puebloans between 600 and 1300. For one of the densest concentrations of Ancestral Puebloan ruins, head to Chaco Canyon, NM.

Since I've never been further west than Kansas City I imagine there's a whole lot left to see.


24. Sleep beneath the stars in one of more than 50 national parks. See a list at nps.gov/findapark.

This one would seem as though it'd be a given but I'm not sure I've slept in a national park. Plenty of state parks and national forests though.


25. Dip a toe (at least) into the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.

Done it. The Pacific was far better.


26. Write a gratitude letter to a teacher who's made a different in your life. Tell her (or him) of their impact on your life.

A great idea. I had already planned to do something similar to this over the summer.


27. Bake a real apple pie - from scratch. Get a great recipe at dashrecipes.com/applepie.

Maybe blueberry or cherry, but not apple.


28. Catch a concert by an American legend - James Taylor, Dolly Parton, and Jimmy Buffet are all playing dates this summer. Or get tickets for a future legend - Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga - or for any act where you're enough of a fan to sing along to the music.

How did "Amercian legend" and Jimmy Buffet wind up in the same sentence? In what world is Taylor Swift or Lady Gaga a "future legend"? What constitutes being a legend? I did see Ringo Starr and his troup of All-Stars but I guess he's not American so it doesn't count.


29. Appreciate fall's foliage. It doesn't matter where you live - when the leaves explode into color, take a walk outside.

Tricia and I backpacked through the Virginia mountains last fall and enjoyed seeing the changing colors. This is one worth repeating every year.


30. Admire the pyramids of Las Vegas, and ppull at least one slot machine arm - you might get lucky!

With limited time and finances I can't see how Las Vegas would ever make my list of places to go. In fact, I think I'd rather stay home.

31. See a bald eagle soar. This is easier than it sounds - after being brought back from the brink of extinction, our national bird can be found in every state except Hawaii. The biggest convocation is in Alaska, where the best viewing time is October through mid-December.

I was told I was watching a bald eagle soar overhead as we parked alongside the Great River Road near Grafton, Illinois. In all honesty, though, it could have been just about anything for all I knew. Maybe binoculars are a must have when birdwatching.


32. Plan a vacation - and use it to cross an item off your list. Twenty-eight percent of Americans surveyed in a  recent poll took no vacation time the previous year; 65 percent took less than two weeks. Research shows that days off can eases stress and increase creativity.

I love that this list ended at #32. This never happens. Everything in magazines seem to come in 5s or 10s. Kudos to the crew at Parade magazine for bucking the system, or else just running out of ideas.


So I think perhaps I can give in and create a few "must dos" of my own. However, in true Bucket List fashion I'll plan to put this off for now in hopes of getting around to it another day. Maybe tomorrow.