Big Dreams

When I was young (very young, I hope) I exclaimed that I would one day like to become a trashman. I must have been imagining the wind, however foul smelling, washing over my face as I stood on the small platform at the back of the truck as it rumbled from driveway to driveway. Isn't that every boys' dream, to ride on the outside of the truck? I'm sure I must have also been mesmerized by the prospect of finding all kinds of really cool stuff discarded on the curb or in the bins themselves.

Needless to say, my parents were less than impressed by my ambition. They didn't outwardly show it but I'm certain they hoped for more. I'm not sure there was a lot of warranted promise for more (I was neither an ace student nor a real go getter) but, still, there had to be hope.

Of course I eventually set new goals for myself. For the longest time I wanted to be a professional baseball player. That I could barely swing the bat, yet alone hit the ball, did not dissuade me. I could have spent hours practicing to become a better hitter but instead focused on what I did well - catch the ball. Further developing my strengths and turning a blind eye to my weaknesses did not turn out to be a recipe for success. After making the high school baseball team my freshman year I was cut the following spring. I was crushed.

Not long after this I decided that I might like a career in medicine. But I wouldn't be content just taking x-rays or drawing blood. No, I was aiming big. I wanted to be a doctor. Again I was able to look the other way when confronted with the fact that I was a solid "C" student who strongly disliked physiology class just the semester before. I enrolled in a course entitled "Medical Terminology." Taught by a nurse, it was an entire semester of memorizing medical terms. Nothing more. Just memorizing prefixes such as "rhino" (nose) and "pan" (all). By the end of the semester I had earned a very high "A". I understood nothing more about medicine or the human body but I could decipher some of what I heard on Trapper John, MD.

Unfortunately around this same time my dad began what would be very regular stints in the hospital as he dealt with the diagnosis and attempted treatments for Multiple Sclerosis and colon cancer. I quickly learned that hospitals really stink. Literally. Whether it was the patients, the meals. or the cleaning chemicals I didn't know. But one thing was for sure - saving lives or not, I couldn't bear to stomach that smell eight hours a day, every day (At that time I still thought doctors had the same hours as the trashman).




Tricia and I were recently taking a walk with the kids when out of nowhere she asked Ainsley what she would like to be when she grows up.

"A cashier,' Ainsley answered.

"A what?" Muluken asked.

"Like the ones at the grocery store," Tricia answered. "You know, the ones who take our money at the register."

"Oh," Muluken replied. He thought a bit more about it and asked "Do they get paid very much?"

"No," Harper was quick to answer. "They don't."

"Do teachers get paid very much," he asked, looking up at me.

In unison Tricia and I both responded "They get paid enough."

"How much is enough?" he asked.

"It's enough to buy food, have a nice home, and go on vacations together," I answered.

He thought some more.

"I want to be a baseball player," he said. "Do they get paid a lot?"

"They get paid a whole lot," Tricia said.

"Do they have other jobs too?" he asked.

"No," I answered. "They just play baseball."

A little further down the trail I was still thinking about this. They just play baseball.

I thought about the fact that, as an adult, I have been quick to laugh at or dismiss a dream to grow up to pick up trash or run a cash register. Yet these are both jobs that are important and need to be done. And at the same time I've acted as though hoping to spend your adult life playing a game is a grand goal.  Is it the money, the fame, the adulation? Why is hoping to grow up to be a professional athlete so well received, I wonder.

As the kids grow they too will change their minds many times as to what they want to do with their adult lives. I hope they choose to do something in the service of others. I hope, in the end, the question of how much money they will make will  not be at or too near the top of their priority list. I trust it won't. They're really good, kind-hearted kids.