This past semester I engaged in a conversation about silly horror movies with a classmate in my Social Theory class. His name was Gavin and he was a fun guy. He had a carefully manicured beard and enjoyed wearing a wide variety of mismatched patterns and colors with semi-exotic looking loafers. During one such conversation he gave me a list of movies I absolutely HAD to see. I excitedly scribbled the names down into my binder.
I should have known something was up when one of the films he offered not only featured Paris Hilton and Sarah Brightman but was titled Repo: The Genetic Opera. He explained that it was a musical about an organ-financing program similar to that of car loans - with repossessions and all. This was a hard sell at home. Even to my buddy Tim who is willing to watch most anything if it's late enough and we can laugh at the movie as much as we laugh with it. Think Science Theater 3000.
We never watched Repo but last night we did finally get around to watching another of Gavin's recommendations - I Spit on Your Grave. This is a film Roger Ebert has long credited as being the very worst movie ever made. To better understand his distaste for this movie consider the following quotes from his review...
"A vile bag of garbage named "I Spit on Your Grave" is playing in Chicago theaters this week. It is a movie so sick, reprehensible and contemptible that I can hardly believe it's playing in respectable theaters..."
"This is a film without a shred of artistic distinction. It lacks even simple craftsmanship. There is no possible motive for exhibiting it, other than the totally cynical hope that it might make money."
"As it was, at the film's end I walked out of the theater quickly, feeling unclean, ashamed and depressed."
"This movie is an expression of the most diseased and perverted darker human natures, Because it is made artlessly, It flaunts its motives: There is no reason to see this movie except to be entertained by the sight of sadism and suffering."
Let me just say that Ebert really hit the nail right on the head. There were times while watching I wished I were watching Deliverance instead for its more light-hearted nature. Seriously, this movie would make Quentin Tarantino blush. Earlier today Tricia asked me how the movie was. I informed her I would not only deny having ever seen it but that in certain company I would pretend as though I had never even heard of it.
While I Spit on Your Grave was a traumatic journey of themes I never wish to revisit I do still love bad movies. A week or so ago I established a new Tuesday night ritual. It began with Tim coming down the stairs and my asking him "Are you willing to sit and watch a movie with us under the provision you are not allowed to ask what it is or to leave the room until it's over?" He thought for only a millisecond before signing on. The movie was the original Karate Kid starring Ralph Macchio and it was great. Afterward it was decided we would take turns picking a movie every Tuesday night that the other two HAD to sit and watch from beginning to end. Of course, Tim and I saw this as an opportunity to punish the others. Tricia, being more civil, will most likely pick movies she really wants to see.
For Tim's first selection he chose The Lost Boys. Starring the two Corey's, Jason Patric, Jamie Gertz, and Keifer Sutherland, it's a movie about a family who moves to a California town ravaged by young vampires (one of which is Bill from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure). Afterward Tricia exclaimed "Well boys...let me tell you, that was a pretty good movie!" The heavy sarcasm in her voice made it all worth the while.
Yesterday I stopped by the movie store to look for some family-appropriate titles over the long weekend. However, during my search I couldn't help but laugh out loud when coming across some awfully good options for our Tuesday night series. Here are a few...
