Roadside Museums

A few years ago I came up with a theory that when pulling off the interstate to fuel up you can generally tell a lot about the area you are in by the stuff they sell inside the gas station. These gas stations serve as small cultural museums of their local communities while making a few bucks on the side pedaling fuel, tobacco, and booze. This did not come to me randomly but, rather, while making a pit stop in the middle of nowhere. Also known as Tennessee.

Entering the station, I grabbed a Snicker bar and  made my way to the back to find a small bottle of milk. However, the milk was nearly impossible to find. All but one of the coolers were being used to house what equated to a small warehouse of beer. But not just any brand of beer. While there may have been a few spare six-packs of Corona or Ice House there were cases upon cases upon cases of Busch, Budweiser, and Old Milwaukee.

On my way back to the front I stopped by the magazine rack. Now some gas stations, feeling these publications are ethically or morally wrong,  refuse to sell pornographic magazines. Others place them behind the counter to protect the innocence of young children. This one, however,  put them all - and there were many - right next to the multiple car and truck magazines and just above the single copy of Newsweek. I want to believe that Newsweek was such a hot item that they had trouble keeping them in stock. I want to believe it, but I don't.

After making my way past the assortment of fishing hats - my favorite sporting two large Styrofoam breasts protruding from the front - I finally reached the counter. Standing in line, I noticed that just beside me, one shelf above the Little Debbie snack cakes, was a box of beer bongs. On my other side was a large washtub full of iced down cans of beer. I can't say for certain that the two were meant to be impulse buys or even to be bought in tandem but, in all honesty, what's the use of one without the other?

I choose to stop just short of saying that the people of small town Tennessee are ignorant, macho alcoholics who, while in a drunken stupor, beat their wives. I choose to believe that all these tell tale signs could be wrong. In fact, they have to be wrong because just the other day I decided to take a closer to look at our own gas station. The one we always use to fill up our cars. The one with the faded sign out front that reads:

POPS
  POPS
    POPS

On the entry door was a handwritten sign, barely legible, that read "We WILL prosecute anyone caught stealing ANYTHING from this station!" It wasn't written as though they were hoping people wouldn't start stealing from them but rather as though people regularly did. I suddenly felt a need to keep my hands out of my pockets.

The three people in front of me in line were all buying scratch off lottery tickets and cigarettes. Nothing else. Just lottery tickets and cigarettes. For what may have been the first time in my four years as a customer of this station I turned around, against my better judgment, to look around the store and see what they sold.

And that's when it hit me.

Either my theory is all wrong or my neighbors are a bunch of lazy black-lunged convicts puffing themselves toward certain deaths but on too much of a sugar high from their Moon Pie addictions to even notice. Being that I hate being wrong I'm left with just one option. I'm now taking the longer route to everywhere. The one with the yuppie Circle K that sells designer coffees and has faux-wood floors.

I feel like a better person already.

Super Shopper

I don't really care much for shopping. I don't like crowded stores, carts with a bum wheel, or long lines at the checkout. I also don't like the time it takes to make an informed choice. Trying on clothes is the worst. I'd just as soon grab something off the shelf or hanger and take my chances when I get home as find a fitting room. Maybe it's all those mirrors. I've managed to go thirty-six years without knowing what I look like from behind and I see no reason to take a peek now. Pretty much if a pair of pants don't fall off my hips while I'm walking then they'll do.Perhaps this is why nothing ever seems to fit me right.

I also hate having too many choices. Last weekend Tricia sent me to Target with a list of things to get. Most were easy things - granola bars, cereal, face wash, Expo markers. I was doing fine until I hit the shampoo aisle. I knew that we use Pantene which narrowed down my choices. But not by all that much. There were formulas made specifically for fine hair, curly hair, medium-thick hair, and hair that had been artificially colored. Sensing certain defeat, my shoulders slumped and my eyes glazed over. I noticed that the top shelf contained another choice: classic care. I assumed this was the formula for men who didn't know enough or care enough to match a shampoo to their particular hair type. As much as I wanted to believe that this was the right choice it was blue and I knew our bottle wasn't blue. But what color was it?

After studying my choices I finally decided that we had the red bottle for curly hair. I reached to grab it when I noticed yet another choice. There were multiple red bottles for curly hair. One was labeled "Curls to Straight" and the other was "Dry to Moisturized."

"You've got to be ****ing kidding me!" I mumbled under my breath. "Why isn't there one that just says 'Dirty to Clean?'"

By this time I had spent what felt like ten minutes staring at the same bottles over and over again with little hope of making any sense of it all. In the end I decided to randomly guess. I don't know which one I chose but Tricia hasn't said anything. Maybe she didn't even notice. Or care.

Or maybe I got lucky and picked the right one. That would be nice.

Grand Conversations

This doesn't happen too often but I already knew last Monday what I wanted to write about this weekend. Since I was writing about the same thing in the weekly newsletter that I send to the parents in my classroom I thought I'd just paste it here. I hope that's not cheating. But then, why should it be? There are no rules to blogging. I hope.

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“The first time you do something it might be a mistake. But the second and third time it’s a choice. It’s not a mistake anymore because you chose to do it.”
-Kayla

This bit of wisdom came after reading a book, Cheyenne Again, about a young Cheyenne boy who is taken from his family to attend a boarding school that strips him of his culture and his language in hopes of “civilizing” him. Somehow the discussion that followed the book led us to discuss how we sometimes don’t learn from previous mistakes and that those who fail to learn and understand history often risk repeating it.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Dear Families,

Do you remember the show Kids Say the Darndest Things? It was hosted by Bill Cosby and highlighted the funny things kids often say in response to questions about the world around them. While cute, the kids often came off as naïve. That was part of the fun. They saw the world so differently. So innocently.

The innocence of our kids is so refreshing. However, we shouldn’t pretend for a moment that they are not deep thinkers and that they don’t notice what goes on in the world around them. I couldn’t help but think of this very point when discussing the election with the kids this past Monday. They were so point-on with many of their comments and observations. It was yet another example of how kids should never be underestimated. We shouldn’t talk down to them. We shouldn’t teach down to them either.

Below you can read a transcript of our discussion together. It was so powerful. I knew you’d want to read it. You’ll notice that names (other than mine) have been deleted. I did this in case any families did not want their political beliefs being shared in such a public place. (You did know that when the kids get to school they make your whole life public, right?) The kids’ dialogue is in bold and italics.

 Enjoy.




Chris: So on Friday we were talking a bit about the elections that are taking place tomorrow. A number of you shared what you knew about the various races including who was running for office. So since there are going to be more than a million voters turning out to vote tomorrow I’m wondering what you guys think a voter should do to learn more about the candidates before casting their vote at the polls. Think for a moment and then I’m going to ask you to turn and share a couple of thoughts with a partner.

Chris: So what were you thinking? What should voters do before casting their
votes?

They shouldn’t vote based on whether the person running is a boy or a girl or is black or white – but how they will treat the country.


The state.


Yeah, the state. Because that’s more important than what kind of person they are.

Chris: Any other ideas?

They should listen to what they’re saying real good so they will know if they’re lying. You should vote for the person you think is not lying.


Yeah, like Rob Miller has said in commercials that the other guy is…

Chris: Joe Wilson?

Yeah, Joe Wilson. He said Joe Wilson used tax money to pay for vacations for his family but he was really visiting combat zones and that’s different.

Chris: I remember you saying on Friday that your dad told you that sometimes people use the truth to tell lies. That’s a lot like our study earlier in the year of whether zoos are good or bad for animals. We read one resource that said elephants live to be far older in the wild than they do in captivity. That might be true but there were a lot of other animals that actually live longer in the zoo, in captivity, than they do in the wild. That article was carefully selecting which truths to tell and which to leave out. Maybe that’s what your dad meant by using the truth to tell lies.

Yeah, like he really did go places but it wasn’t on vacation.

Chris: Well, I think a lot of people out there see that issue in different ways and that’s something that some voters will think about when deciding who to vote for. But you’re right, we have to pay close attention to what the commercials are saying. Anyone else? What should voters do to learn more about the candidates they’re deciding between?

You should know about their pasts. Like what other jobs they’ve had. Like if they said they’re honest or they work hard we should know what other jobs they’ve had so we can see if they were honest at that job too. You should know their past so you can figure out their future.

Chris: That’s an interesting idea.

And voters should ask questions. They should ask the people running what they think or what they want to do.


Yeah, and listen to their speeches and listen closely to promises. Like if they say they’re going to lower money on Silly Bandz and make it more expensive on cigarettes. Some people think some things are more important and other things are less important so they’ll want to lower the rate on one or raise it on another.


But if they raise the price of cigarettes people will still keep smoking them anyway because they’re addictive.

Chris: So are you saying we should listen to their promises and decide whether those promises are fair and whether they are true?

Yeah.


I have a connection to what [someone else] was saying. If a guy says he’s never raised taxes but he has then people should know that. Kind of like knowing their past…their old jobs. So I would pay more attention to their past than their future.


I’d pay attention to their commercials.

Chris: How interesting you should say that because we’re getting ready to look at two commercials here in just a bit – one from Nikki Haley and one from Vincent Sheheen. As you guys all know, they are both running for governor. Are there any other ideas before we see that?

I think people should look into what both people believe in and think about both of them and then vote for who they think is right.

Chris: Wow, if more voters turned out and thought the way you do our election process would be even stronger than what it is (she smiles).

I think in commercials they tell lies on each other so you won’t want to vote for the other person. You have to decide who you believe.

Chris: Yeah, that’s the hard part sometimes – deciding who to believe when you’re hearing two different stories. So look back at all you guys have shared. You think voters should vote not on gender or race but on how candidates will help the country, listen carefully to what candidates say and decide whether or not you believe them, get to know something about the candidates pasts, ask questions of the candidates, listen carefully to their speeches and pay attention to their promises, be wary of them bad-talking each other or telling lies, watch their commercials, and consider what they believe in and compare that to your own beliefs. That’s a lot of really good stuff!

Unfortunately a lot of voters never do all this stuff. In fact, often times the majority of the people never even bother to vote. Isn’t that sad? There are some countries in the world where the people have no say in their government, laws, and quality of life. Yet, here in America we have this wonderful right – to vote for our leaders – and many of us don’t even bother to do so.

Some other people do vote but don’t necessarily know all that much about the candidates. With everything that’s out there they mainly rely on what they hear from the candidates’ commercials. So I thought we might watch a couple of these commercials to see what it is that we learn about the candidates from them. I’m going to start with Nikki Haley – in alphabetical order – and I want you to see what this commercial tells you about her as a candidate for governor of South Carolina.

Can we get out a notebook?

Chris: No, it’s only about twenty seconds long so I doubt you’ll need one. You can probably hold your ideas in your head and then turn and discuss them. So here it is. (Plays commercial with Sarah Palin endorsement from You Tube)

Turn and talk with someone about some things that you learned about Nikki Haley. (Kids turn and talk)

So what did you learn? What did you notice?

She said that South Carolina needs fresh faces and a fresh focus but what? What fresh focus is she going to do? She didn’t say.


And she said she works through God.

Chris: Is that important to know?

Many Kids: Yes!

Chris: Okay, so a number of voters might really want to know whether she is religious or not. Anything else?

Well I saw one of the debates with my parents and in the debate she said she wanted to lift education up and build more schools for kids but that wasn’t in the commercial.

Chris: Ah, so your family watched one of the debates and she had more time to share information there?

Yeah. The commercial was just too fast.

Chris: Well, TV advertisements are awfully expensive so I would imagine that candidates try to fit as much as they can into a small amount of time.

Yeah, it was too quick to hear everything.

Chris: Do you want to watch it again?

Class: Yes. (Plays again) Anything new you noticed? (No hands)

Chris: Okay, let’s look at Vincent Sheheen’s.

Is his real fast too?

Chris: I don’t know. I don’t know which one we’ll see. I didn’t pick and choose which to show because I wanted to avoid the possibility that I might pick a better commercial for one candidate than the other. This way it’s random. (Shows Sheheen video) What did you notice? Turn and talk with someone. (Kids turn and talk) Who wants to share something out?

He says he worries about jobs. That South Carolina needs more jobs.

Yeah, I went to a Tea Party meeting with my family and Nikki Haley was there. She said that she was worried that so many people in South Carolina don’t have jobs and have to live on the street. She wants for everyone to have a job and earn money.

Chris: What else did you all notice?

Well, he said that he doesn’t want South Carolina to move backwards anymore. He wants it to move forward. But he didn’t tell how. How’s South Carolina going to move forward? We don’t know.

Chris: That’s a very good question. I think that’s a big problem with these commercials. They’re so short and so fast that we often don’t get a chance to hear about the things we might want to. I’m glad, though, to hear that many of your families are reading the newspaper, watching the news, attending events in our community, watching debates, and looking on the internet. It probably takes more than just one of any of these things to really get a good sense of what a candidate believes and what he or she hopes to do.

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This conversation is but one example of why teaching is the greatest of all professions. I guess the trick is noticing these moments - the ones when the kids really "think up" and blow you away or even inspire you.

Later in the week we read a really powerful book called Terrible Things. It's an allegory of the Holocaust. In the story, a mysterious "Terrible Thing" visits the forest again and again capturing animals to take away. "I've come for for those animals with a bushy tail!" it screams. Or "I've come for those animals with feathers on their back." The other animals pretend not to care. They look the other way and are thankful it is not them being taken away. In the end, though, they all are. All the animals are captured and carried off in their terrible nets. All but one small rabbit who never understood why this was happening and had the courage to ask. Noone would answer him.They either didn't know how or were afraid to speak about it. Finally the little rabbit set off to warn the animals of other forests. Hoping that they would listen.

The kids had some really cool conversations around this as well. There was talk of "having the Terrible Thing try living in the animals' shoes to see what it feels like" and even "getting even with the Terrible Things." One perspective suggests building empathy, the other seeking retribution. How often do we see these perspectives shared in the real world - where it's not animals but people at stake?

Wonderful thoughts. Wonderful conversations.

And I get paid to sit and listen.

Virginia is for Drunken Murderers

A few years ago Tricia and I spent an afternoon in Hot Springs, North Carolina. We enjoyed a light lunch, picked up some trail snacks, and headed out to hike a mile or two on the Appalachian Trail. It was our first trip on the trail and we really didn't know anything about it other than that it was pretty long. All of our previous hiking had been on a variety of tame trails in heavily visited state parks.

As we approached the trail we stopped to check the map and message board. There at the center - in very large letters - was a warning: BEWARE: BEARS HAVE BEEN REPORTED IN THIS AREA. The sign went on to suggest that anyone hiking carry "bear mace" and plan to slowly retreat from any evidence of bear activity on the trail. This startled us a bit.

"Are we going to die?" Tricia half-joked.

"I hope not," I answered.

The first stretch of trail was nicely graded. There were many switchbacks but because of all the thick foliage it was impossible to see what was awaiting us around each corner. All we could think about was bears. We were certain we were only moments away from a certain mauling. I tried to make as much noise as I could to announce our presence.

After only about twenty minutes or so we decided to stop and head back down. The trail was still climbing steadily with no indication that we were anywhere near the top. We weren't necessarily in the best climbing shape, hadn't brought any water with us, and felt the time was ripe to call it quits with all of our limbs still intact.We walked back to the car, safe and sound.

In the following weeks I developed quite a fascination for the Appalachian Trail. I read a book or two and started reading the on-line journals of hikers walking the entire 2,100 path in a single season. I quickly learned that many hikers walk on the trail for weeks, or even months, at a time and never see a single bear. Not only do they not see any bears but they actually feel disappointed by it. The ones that do encounter bears do not run or cry or even drop and play dead. Instead, they stand in awe watching them gathering berries, scratching at a tree, or rumbling through the forest. Sometimes, if they feel unsafe, hikers will bang their trekking poles together to scare the bears off or they'll slowly retreat back down the trail and wait a few minutes before returning.

So it seems our perceived danger was a bit exaggerated. Our deaths were not imminent. We were just ignorant to the reality of the wildlife and environment around us. This isn't so uncommon. It happens all the time.

In fact, it happened just this past weekend. Tricia and I were back on the Appalachian Trail, this time in Virginia. We drove up to Damascus on Saturday morning, hoisted our backpacks onto our backs, and headed north on the trail for a short two-day trip to see the fall colors. After a full afternoon of hiking, and with the temperatures quickly dropping, we searched for any campsite we could find. We passed on a few larger sites because they were located too close to road crossings. There's nothing that kills the feeling of being away from it all like the constant hum of cars and trucks motoring a few hundred yards from your tent.

So we turned back up the mountain in search of a site we had remembered seeing a half-hour earlier. When we finally found it the sun was just beginning to drop below the trees to the west. We pulled out the tent and found that the only level spot to pitch it, where we wouldn't be sleeping on large tree roots or rocks, was just a few feet off the trail. Even worse, there was another trail intersecting the AT another few feet away. But with darkness falling over the mountain and the cold temperatures setting in we knew we didn't have time to seek out a new spot. We couldn't even remember having seen any other spots for miles anyway.

So as we began to unpack our things and set everything up I heard a voice come out of nowhere.

"Hey."

Startled, I looked around but saw no one. However, I knew someone was there. Somewhere.

"Hey," I responded. Trying to mask my surprise and sound both casual and friendly. Just as I got the words out I saw movement just through the trees to my right. It was a hunter, dressed in full camo, toting a rifle over his left shoulder. Tricia looked at me, concerned.

"Are we going to be alright here?" she whispered.

I looked down the trail to see if he had passed.

"Yeah, we're fine," I assured her. "It's just a hunter making his way back down to his car."

She didn't look too convinced. It wasn't so much the hunter, I imagined, as it was the gun that made her uneasy. After hanging our food bag over a distant tree limb and getting our sleeping gear set up we climbed into the tent. I pulled out a deck of cards and we played a game of Rummy, working hard to keep our cards from constantly sliding down our sleeping pads and resting under our bags.

About fifteen minutes later we heard more footsteps approaching. This time, however, they sounded very heavy and unsteady, as though someone were in a semi-controlled fall coming down the mountain. A loud belch soon followed and the footsteps stopped. Just outside our tent. Tricia's eyes grew enormous. I looked out the small window on our rainfly and saw two more hunters standing outside the tent, about twenty feet away. I couldn't see one of them too well because he was hidden behind some bushes but the other was standing in a small clearing and staring at our tent. He began to talk to the other one in a drunken slur. The fact that he was clearly intoxicated and carrying a rifle did not make me feel too comfortable.

"Yehau thinkst thees is thu waaaay orrr du yehau thinkst weee otta go ovr thur?" he asked.

His partner gave some type of reply but I couldn't make it out.

I looked back at Tricia who was sitting very still. "It's just more hunters," I said casually.

"I don't like this," she whispered. "I've seen Deliverance."

After a few long seconds the two hunters continued on their way down the mountain, presumably on their way back to their car.

"I read an article about two girls who were raped on the trail twenty years ago," Tricia told me, as soon as the two hunters were clearly gone.

"Where did you read that," I asked.

"In one of those Trail magazines they had at the cabin last summer."

"That was twenty years ago," I said. "A lot of women hike the trail alone and are fine."

"Are you sure we're okay here?" she asked again.

"Yeah, we're fine," I answered. "They're gone. Besides, this is Virginia. Virginia is for lovers. I know because all the signs say so!"

"Hmm," she said, sounding unconvinced. "But what if they come back?"

"It's going to be completely dark really soon. Who wants to climb all the way back up a pitch black mountain in the cold of night?" I asked, seeming to believe that it would be the hunters' laziness that would be our saving grace.

We went back to our game and tried not to think about the hunters. As it turned out, those were the last we would see. We woke up in the morning alive - which sure beats waking up dead.

We were never in danger at all. We just let our imaginations get away from us a bit. I have this really great poster at school that lists ways to build global community. One of the lines reads: Don't confuse your comfort for your safety. How often do we do this? There have been many times in my life when I've found myself in an uncomfortable environment and, wrongly, felt felt that my safety was in jeopardy. Much of this is learned. Friends, family, books, newspapers, magazines, discussion boards, television, and movies share sensationalized stories that, if even accurate, are far from indicative of the norm. People do fall and die in the shower. Others are mugged or even killed by strangers knocking at their door. But these are not common occurrences. We should still feel safe. We should live life.

We have a friend that is fearful of the unknown. He hasn't seen all that much of America but watches a lot of television. Evidently much of his programming is about gangs and random murders. Any trip Tricia and I have ever planned has prompted dire warnings from him.

"Why on Earth would you go to Memphis?" he asks. "Do you have any idea how dangerous it is there? All I can say is you better not talk to strangers!"

"Miami's terrible," he warns. "Do NOT roll down your windows - especially if someone walks up to your car door!"

"Don't even bother going to Detroit," he suggests. "It has the highest murder rate in the country. You'll die."

It's become a joke between us but, still, it's all rooted in truth. Not truth concerning the lack of safety in these places but the true fear Tim has of places unknown. I once took a trip with him and another friend when we were in college. One night we decided to sleep in the car at a rest stop. Tim insisted on sleeping with his head all covered up despite the fact that it was eighty degrees outside.

"Why do you have your head covered up," I asked.

"So if someone breaks into the car and kills the two of you I won't see him do it," he explained. "If I don't see him kill you two then there's no reason for him to kill me."

You really can't argue with logic like that. Thankfully no one killed us that night. Yet again, I survived.

As Tricia and I hiked back into Damascus on Sunday the thought of the hunters had gone from scary to kind of funny.

"Hey Tricia," I said. "I've got the title for my blog this week."

"What?" she asked.

"Instead of 'Virginia is for Lovers'" I told her, "I'll call it 'Virginia is for Drunken Murders.'"

"Funny," she chuckled. Perhaps she was just humoring me but I'm okay with that. I'll take laughs anywhere I can get them. I should laugh every chance I get.

I'm lucky to be alive.